{"title":"Toxic Positivity","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"i-m-a-queen-a-stressed-out-overworked-underpaid-queen-t-shirt","title":"I’m a Queen… A Stressed Out, Overworked, Underpaid Queen T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eI’m a queen. Yeah, I know, I’m confident, I’m powerful, I’m ruling this life—\u003cem\u003emost of the time\u003c\/em\u003e. But oh, wait. There’s a small detail I missed… \u003cem\u003eIs that the deadline I just saw?\u003c\/em\u003e Oh god, did I forget to respond to that email? Oh shit, my coffee’s cold. \u003cem\u003eBreathe. It’s fine. It’s fine… right?\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eThis shirt captures that royal confidence \u003cem\u003ejust before\u003c\/em\u003e everything falls apart. A queen who can juggle everything, until one little thing sets off a chain reaction of pure panic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eSo yeah, I’m a queen. But I’m also barely holding it together. Because sometimes being royalty means you’re one breath away from chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\" style=\"margin: 12px 0px 0px 13px; text-indent: -13px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eSoft, breathable cotton for when you’re trying to keep it together\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\" style=\"margin: 12px 0px 0px 13px; text-indent: -13px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eBold declaration of queen status… mixed with a little bit of \u003cem\u003eI can’t deal with this right now\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\" style=\"margin: 12px 0px 0px 13px; text-indent: -13px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ePerfect for when you’re calmly panicking inside\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\" style=\"margin: 12px 0px 0px 13px; text-indent: -13px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eA shirt that screams “I’ve got this” while quietly spiraling\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\" style=\"margin: 12px 0px 0px 13px; text-indent: -13px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Made from durable ring-spun cotton fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Classic fit with crew neckline\u003cbr\u003e- Ethically grown and harvested US cotton used\u003cbr\u003e- Certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance\u003cbr\u003e- Available in a variety of fabric blends and colors\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: 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style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: 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2XL","offer_id":42155548049486,"sku":"11414248040578921508","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155548082254,"sku":"29814732913280194817","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sapphire \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155548115022,"sku":"15438955750205806160","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155548147790,"sku":"39265564413194099398","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155548180558,"sku":"20705083572815826910","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cornsilk \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155548213326,"sku":"13744206141941345018","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155548246094,"sku":"10076450473423420619","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155548278862,"sku":"19076482301726152177","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155548311630,"sku":"15400069689672521455","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155548344398,"sku":"22718018299959661632","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155548377166,"sku":"17034501116645762436","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155548409934,"sku":"20527092255948425061","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sapphire \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155548442702,"sku":"17789077328407487079","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155548475470,"sku":"79568840938635877650","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/3458\/5166\/files\/2queenblack.jpg?v=1748106858"},{"product_id":"be-the-change-burn-it-to-the-ground-t-shirt","title":"Be the Change… Burn It to the Ground T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eSpread a message of hope, empowerment, and total anarchy with this beautifully chaotic shirt that says it all: “Be the change you wish to see in the world”… and then torch it. Designed to mimic those overly cheery, multi-font affirmation tees, this shirt starts with uplifting vibes and takes a hard left turn into full-blown rebellion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eThe flowing cursive and pastel hues lull everyone into thinking you’re a beacon of positivity—until they reach the all-caps, fire-starting punchline. The bold second line screams, “I’m not here to fix the system—I’m here to overthrow it,” all while keeping things stylishly unhinged.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\" style=\"margin: 12px 0px 0px 13px; text-indent: -13px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eOptimists with a streak of chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\" style=\"margin: 12px 0px 0px 13px; text-indent: -13px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eCynical revolutionaries who still enjoy a good Pinterest aesthetic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\" style=\"margin: 12px 0px 0px 13px; text-indent: -13px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eTired souls who tried the “peaceful” route and are now fully over it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eWear it to yoga, your local protest, or brunch—it’s a shirt that says, “Yes, I want change. No, it’s not going to be peaceful.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Made from durable ring-spun cotton fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Classic fit with crew neckline\u003cbr\u003e- Ethically grown and harvested US cotton used\u003cbr\u003e- Certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance\u003cbr\u003e- Available in a variety of fabric blends and colors\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":42155561025614,"sku":"11499534284029216290","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ S","offer_id":42155561058382,"sku":"57561789854750603884","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 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Caterpillar Turning Into a Butterfly… You’re Gross t-shirt","description":"\u003cp style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\" class=\"p1\"\u003eHere’s a twist on the whole “transformation” nonsense: \u003cem\u003eyou’re gross\u003c\/em\u003e. You thought this shirt was going to offer some nice, feel-good message about change? Nah. Instead, we’re here to remind you—right to your face—that you’re just as gross as the caterpillar is before it turns into a butterfly.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\" class=\"p2\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\" class=\"p1\"\u003eYou know what happens when a caterpillar turns into a butterfly? It’s an \u003cem\u003eugly\u003c\/em\u003e process. A lot of slimy goo, wriggling, and transformation that no one’s asking for. And guess what? 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That’s it. That’s the message. Don’t try to turn this into some feel-good moment. It’s an insult. But hey, maybe one day you’ll emerge from your cocoon, but when you do it'll be super gross.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\" class=\"p1\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Made from durable ring-spun cotton fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Classic fit with crew neckline\u003cbr\u003e- Ethically grown and harvested US cotton used\u003cbr\u003e- Certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance\u003cbr\u003e- Available in a variety of fabric blends and colors\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth 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fresh brew, and a heavy dose of all the unresolved trauma you’ve been ignoring. This shirt doesn’t sugarcoat the reality of your mornings. It’s not just about caffeine. It’s about the deep, lingering baggage we all carry, tucked neatly into our daily routine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\" class=\"p2\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\" class=\"p1\"\u003eThe coffee’s hot, the cup’s cheerful, but deep down, you know it’s time to face the truth: you’re going to power through your day on caffeine and all the emotional baggage that comes with it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\" class=\"p2\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\" class=\"p1\"\u003eThis shirt’s perfect for anyone who’s just trying to get through the grind, one sip of coffee and one untended issue at a time. Whether you’re heading into work or running errands, this shirt says it all—you’re trying, but the trauma’s still there, lurking just below the surface. But hey, at least you’re smiling, right? Grab your coffee and get ready to tackle your day (and maybe avoid a little self-reflection, just for now). Cheers!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\" class=\"p1\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Made from durable ring-spun cotton fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Classic fit with crew neckline\u003cbr\u003e- Ethically grown and harvested US cotton used\u003cbr\u003e- Certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance\u003cbr\u003e- Available in a variety of fabric blends and colors\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":42155592908878,"sku":"11853639005793132211","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ S","offer_id":42155592941646,"sku":"33756987859708537583","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":42155592974414,"sku":"32639675571130873385","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":42155593007182,"sku":"14452939727612416383","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":42155593039950,"sku":"16975720170341090067","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ S","offer_id":42155593072718,"sku":"30695429416059504658","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":42155593105486,"sku":"24279425648404383454","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ S","offer_id":42155593138254,"sku":"10665384569717132844","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":42155593171022,"sku":"13879324772243549446","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ M","offer_id":42155593203790,"sku":"28389363689714625192","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":42155593236558,"sku":"31864446985753709145","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":42155593269326,"sku":"25412815650716483338","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ M","offer_id":42155593302094,"sku":"11874583105417713185","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ M","offer_id":42155593334862,"sku":"14776996081107061520","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":42155593367630,"sku":"98656538107888419559","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ M","offer_id":42155593400398,"sku":"16787321820556132341","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":42155593433166,"sku":"33819233199228267178","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ L","offer_id":42155593465934,"sku":"30478086247992961550","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":42155593498702,"sku":"14526941444151534969","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":42155593531470,"sku":"21085968730445659158","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ L","offer_id":42155593564238,"sku":"35874473545324962917","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ L","offer_id":42155593597006,"sku":"12546691083259770282","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":42155593629774,"sku":"31590730944934403481","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ L","offer_id":42155593662542,"sku":"46725467956168438666","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":42155593695310,"sku":"10504908364080374461","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ XL","offer_id":42155593728078,"sku":"33174112383966300811","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":42155593760846,"sku":"27743898235494165578","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42155593793614,"sku":"27593293332243473184","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ XL","offer_id":42155593826382,"sku":"14580827250062564641","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ XL","offer_id":42155593859150,"sku":"33732678808821770033","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":42155593891918,"sku":"32520936595688308800","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ XL","offer_id":42155593924686,"sku":"20705080557182770390","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155593957454,"sku":"17897862623560514912","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155593990222,"sku":"68343804145484802221","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155594022990,"sku":"27481679507646391169","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155594055758,"sku":"34018698335067900631","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155594088526,"sku":"22660738721579602247","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155594121294,"sku":"68812600152291748351","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155594154062,"sku":"16101552480508602620","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155594186830,"sku":"27036288857998414112","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155594219598,"sku":"27291013343677524431","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155594252366,"sku":"62936451365520739975","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155594285134,"sku":"12293856193149125202","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155594317902,"sku":"27532965517239462836","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155594350670,"sku":"29283332683039764890","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155594383438,"sku":"19321196477306059076","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155594416206,"sku":"10053703453562509899","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/3458\/5166\/files\/2truamablack.jpg?v=1747574322"},{"product_id":"i-am-sick-of-your-goddamn-shit","title":"I Am Sick Of Your Goddamn Shit t-shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eTired of all those self-empowerment shirts that say things like “I AM STRONG” or “I AM BEAUTIFUL”? Yeah, we get it. Life’s not always sunshine and rainbows, and sometimes you’re just sick of people’s nonsense. That’s why this shirt flips the script. Instead of offering some fluffy, unrealistic affirmation, it boldly declares what’s really on your mind: “I AM SICK OF YOUR GODDAMN SHIT.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eForget pretending everything’s perfect. This shirt is for those days when you’re done with the endless positivity parade, the fake smiles, and the endless demands. It’s unapologetic. It’s honest. It’s a middle finger to the whole “good vibes only” attitude. After all, sometimes, the most empowering thing you can do is acknowledge that you’re fed up—and wear it loud and proud.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWith the sharp, no-nonsense design, this shirt’s ready to let everyone know you’re done with their bullshit. Because, let’s face it, pretending otherwise isn’t going to change anything. It’s not about being confident and beautiful; it’s about being real. And sometimes, being real means saying exactly what’s on your mind.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Made from durable ring-spun cotton fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Classic fit with crew neckline\u003cbr\u003e- Ethically grown and harvested US cotton used\u003cbr\u003e- Certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance\u003cbr\u003e- Available in a variety of fabric blends and colors\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid 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Good Enough.' shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eWe’ve all been there. The self-doubt, the overthinking, the endless search for perfection. But honestly, perfection is overrated, and who even has time for that? This shirt’s here to remind you that sometimes the best thing you can do is just look in the mirror and say, “fuck it, good enough.” Really, what else are you going to do? Keep stressing over every little detail? Nah.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eWith a design as no-nonsense as the message itself, this shirt gives zero fucks about whether you’re living up to some unrealistic standard. It’s for those moments when you’re tired of trying, tired of caring, and just need to get through the day without adding more pressure. Life’s chaotic, and that’s fine. The world’s falling apart, but you’re still here. And guess what? That’s \u003cem\u003egood enough\u003c\/em\u003e. So wear it, shrug, and carry on. It’s not like it’ll change anything, but hey, maybe that’s the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Made from durable ring-spun cotton fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Classic fit with crew neckline\u003cbr\u003e- Ethically grown and harvested US cotton used\u003cbr\u003e- Certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance\u003cbr\u003e- Available in a variety of fabric blends and colors\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do 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You know, the vital practice of taking ownership of your actions, reflecting on your decisions, and really, truly owning up to your mistakes. It’s something we should all strive for, and you, yes YOU, should probably start doing that more. Why? Because frankly, it’s your fault my life sucks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou need to own your role in this! Personal growth starts with self-reflection, and it’s so crucial that you begin doing that immediately. Seriously, you can’t expect anything to change until you look at how you’ve contributed to the state of my existence. It’s on you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTake a step back. Think about it. Own your impact, because clearly, I’ve tried and failed, but YOU… oh, you have so much potential to change everything. So, while I wear this shirt in bold acknowledgment of my own flaws, maybe you could spend some time looking at your own and realize that this all could’ve been avoided if you just, y’know, took more responsibility for things.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear this shirt as a beacon for the transformative power of blaming others.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Made from durable ring-spun cotton fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Classic fit with crew neckline\u003cbr\u003e- Ethically grown and harvested 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text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: 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style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; 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3XL","offer_id":42155607687246,"sku":"32183761704489659916","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155607720014,"sku":"33003131653421393259","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155607752782,"sku":"29954634285016688541","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155607785550,"sku":"33523753213612999100","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ 3XL","offer_id":42565964759118,"sku":"20463202955333546168","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155607818318,"sku":"12803616117892974092","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/3458\/5166\/files\/2eoblack_4e36fdf5-c924-49d6-b498-7785241f5ca8.jpg?v=1747866092"},{"product_id":"terrible-awful-possibilities-shirt","title":"Terrible, Awful Possibilities Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eLet’s not sugarcoat it—the world is overflowing with possibilities, and most of them are just terrible. Awful, really. It’s not exactly shocking, is it? We all know how this goes. The possibilities people rave about? Yeah, they usually involve stress, disappointment, or some disaster waiting around the corner.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eThis shirt simply states the obvious with a shrug and a smirk. No fake positivity here, just a realistic take on the mess we all navigate daily. Perfect for anyone who’s accepted the chaos and moved straight to indifferent acceptance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eWear it proudly, because sometimes the only way to deal with terrible, awful possibilities is to roll your eyes and carry on.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Made from durable ring-spun cotton fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Classic fit with crew neckline\u003cbr\u003e- Ethically grown and harvested US cotton used\u003cbr\u003e- Certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance\u003cbr\u003e- Available in a variety of fabric blends and colors\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; 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XL","offer_id":42155616731214,"sku":"22062229192312844239","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155616763982,"sku":"16941132616545792609","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155616796750,"sku":"20049172142867490694","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":42560164233294,"sku":"96024313017677649301","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155616927822,"sku":"44141199286004616807","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155616993358,"sku":"37950579108451777592","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155617026126,"sku":"22370844070648539429","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155617058894,"sku":"11891228798049547561","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 3XL","offer_id":42560164266062,"sku":"30757053953752879168","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":42560164298830,"sku":"62701080575824507823","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155617189966,"sku":"14241176538592718390","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155617255502,"sku":"66221464816828469289","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155617288270,"sku":"20698322735011205265","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/3458\/5166\/files\/2possibilitiesblack.jpg?v=1747595931"},{"product_id":"the-future-is-bright-dumpster-fire-tee","title":"The Future Is Bright - Dumpster Fire T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eOptimism? Oh, we’ve got it—just not the kind you were expecting. This shirt takes the phrase \u003cem\u003e“The future is bright”\u003c\/em\u003e and pairs it with the most accurate metaphor for modern times: a dumpster fully ablaze. The roaring flames of chaos are your daily reminder that, hey, at least it’s well-lit, right?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003ePerfect for anyone who looks at the news and thinks, \u003cem\u003e“Yep, checks out,”\u003c\/em\u003e this tee captures the ironic resilience of embracing the absurdity of our collective doom. The economy? On fire. Politics? Toasted. Global stability? Ashes. But hey, at least we can see where we’re going!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eWear this shirt to show that while the world may be a mess, you’re laughing (or crying?) your way through it. Because when life gives you a dumpster fire, you might as well roast some marshmallows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Made from durable ring-spun cotton fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Classic fit with crew neckline\u003cbr\u003e- Ethically grown and harvested US cotton used\u003cbr\u003e- Certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance\u003cbr\u003e- Available in a variety of fabric blends and colors\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":42155635277902,"sku":"18566470293938244773","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ S","offer_id":42155635310670,"sku":"20740641774934973320","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ S","offer_id":42155635343438,"sku":"55882915482363228250","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":42155635376206,"sku":"26854771965870047777","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":42155635408974,"sku":"75637381785495377956","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ S","offer_id":42155635441742,"sku":"14005747565697977370","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sapphire \/ S","offer_id":42155635474510,"sku":"34009542067770693813","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":42155635507278,"sku":"26088765297126089466","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":42155635540046,"sku":"19575604959438626554","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ M","offer_id":42155635572814,"sku":"29277165706009859074","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ M","offer_id":42155635605582,"sku":"77298664634660176505","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":42155635638350,"sku":"74454619429953241013","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ M","offer_id":42155635671118,"sku":"12391855362055549703","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ M","offer_id":42155635703886,"sku":"22426359483245346631","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sapphire \/ M","offer_id":42155635736654,"sku":"10761308369320195113","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":42155635769422,"sku":"27395114604386027517","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":42155635802190,"sku":"10329299837154351166","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ L","offer_id":42155635834958,"sku":"27508310968098188740","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ L","offer_id":42155635867726,"sku":"27902441821784957565","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":42155635900494,"sku":"24901614044562190971","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ L","offer_id":42155635933262,"sku":"19004475620968162090","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ L","offer_id":42155635966030,"sku":"21560523905576210885","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sapphire \/ L","offer_id":42155635998798,"sku":"19917765973295328186","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":42155636031566,"sku":"18974349970860765812","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":42155636064334,"sku":"19760198847303360595","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ XL","offer_id":42155636097102,"sku":"14369817565551716625","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ XL","offer_id":42155636129870,"sku":"19921438243284797116","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42155636162638,"sku":"15312718147286469127","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ XL","offer_id":42155636195406,"sku":"11082042335479512154","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ XL","offer_id":42155636228174,"sku":"29741516271257268292","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sapphire \/ XL","offer_id":42155636260942,"sku":"10618669417869664084","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":42155636293710,"sku":"56611285381908445155","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155636326478,"sku":"16291351621436408774","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155636359246,"sku":"24104327064677828570","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155636392014,"sku":"50561680138090863068","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155636424782,"sku":"21106646956550001182","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155636457550,"sku":"82589749546582007854","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 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3XL","offer_id":42155636719694,"sku":"27129868699648585931","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sapphire \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155636752462,"sku":"25604908037113188255","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155636785230,"sku":"70845322010502925396","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/3458\/5166\/files\/2futureblack.png?v=1747170726"},{"product_id":"i-m-killing-it-my-will-to-live-80s-retro-vibe-shirt","title":"I’m Killing It (My will to live) Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eGet ready to \u003cem\u003eabsolutely crush it\u003c\/em\u003e—or at least pretend to—with this bold self-deprecating shirt. The powerful declaration of \u003cem\u003e“I’M KILLING IT”\u003c\/em\u003e scream confidence and success, but wait… check out the fine print. Below you’ll find the real truth: \u003cem\u003e“my will to live.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eIt’s the ultimate irony—looking like you’re on top of the world, but really? You’re just holding on by a thread. Whether you’re faking it till you make it or embracing the chaos of modern life, this shirt lets everyone know you’re \u003cem\u003ekilling it\u003c\/em\u003e in your own special way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eSoft, comfy, and perfect for those days when you’re just too tired to pretend, this shirt strikes the balance between high-energy optimism and low-key existential dread. Wear it and let the juxtaposition do the talking—because, hey, you’re \u003cem\u003ekilling it\u003c\/em\u003e, right?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Made from durable ring-spun cotton fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Classic fit with crew neckline\u003cbr\u003e- Ethically grown and harvested US cotton used\u003cbr\u003e- Certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance\u003cbr\u003e- Available in a variety of fabric blends and colors\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":42155656544334,"sku":"10839595720668354510","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ S","offer_id":42155656577102,"sku":"88002934571059804564","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":42408426602574,"sku":"29054800165205664085","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":42155656642638,"sku":"23413346186229881403","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":42408426635342,"sku":"32754046615764290951","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ S","offer_id":42155656675406,"sku":"13044940665208208637","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ S","offer_id":42408426668110,"sku":"28523914556685975257","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":42408426700878,"sku":"10414615584677723547","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ S","offer_id":42408426733646,"sku":"19811463953096905450","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":42155656773710,"sku":"31647677654281250974","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ M","offer_id":42155656806478,"sku":"23456601471145433420","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":42408426766414,"sku":"45462299577984267039","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":42155656872014,"sku":"28262300981330896108","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ M","offer_id":42408426799182,"sku":"35322933949005190387","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ M","offer_id":42155656904782,"sku":"13496469042851681737","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ M","offer_id":42408426831950,"sku":"11188939013189821488","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":42408426864718,"sku":"47063194416379788588","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ M","offer_id":42408426897486,"sku":"33516779934020770799","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":42155657003086,"sku":"93736940346880538348","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ L","offer_id":42155657035854,"sku":"30357190213793914873","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":42408426930254,"sku":"30487979057519702564","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":42155657101390,"sku":"21467777462005668936","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ L","offer_id":42408426963022,"sku":"37583006698606966429","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ L","offer_id":42155657134158,"sku":"32423477775759751521","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ L","offer_id":42408426995790,"sku":"12540095894440173949","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":42408427028558,"sku":"35999855218190709765","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ L","offer_id":42408427061326,"sku":"80189411738070687330","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":42155657232462,"sku":"16869779778674352006","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ XL","offer_id":42155657265230,"sku":"23740369068786571290","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":42408427094094,"sku":"32994402731203773138","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42155657330766,"sku":"21041124052365938985","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ XL","offer_id":42408427126862,"sku":"18551982751906988665","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ XL","offer_id":42155657363534,"sku":"10825024715323825608","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ XL","offer_id":42408427159630,"sku":"29676857460442271682","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":42408427192398,"sku":"23348336021622506231","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ XL","offer_id":42408427225166,"sku":"16036653653089866900","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155657461838,"sku":"23455749298965133242","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155657494606,"sku":"15372993364519570332","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":42408427257934,"sku":"75232327161564012524","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155657560142,"sku":"10762204100647163922","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":42408427290702,"sku":"62082759788587499009","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":42480372809806,"sku":"18797466299042936053","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ 2XL","offer_id":42408427323470,"sku":"12572200746075459317","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":42408427356238,"sku":"32964035327650192933","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ 2XL","offer_id":42408427389006,"sku":"12597390368570705863","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155657691214,"sku":"14218151198293432630","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 3XL","offer_id":42408427421774,"sku":"76726654983987125134","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":42408427454542,"sku":"12041523941985876366","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155657756750,"sku":"20151398686542892676","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":42408427487310,"sku":"30379327893071336163","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155657789518,"sku":"17518486511319275489","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":42408427552846,"sku":"31930816767039573841","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ 3XL","offer_id":42408427585614,"sku":"59195590205279732050","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/3458\/5166\/files\/2killingblack.jpg?v=1745593392"},{"product_id":"you-got-this-whoops-never-mind-brutally-honest-positivity-shirt","title":"You Got This!… Whoops, Never Mind Brutally Honest Positivity Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eAh, the sweet sting of disappointment. This shirt starts off strong with a cheery \u003cem\u003e“You Got This!”\u003c\/em\u003e—only to immediately rescind that misplaced faith with a cold, hard \u003cem\u003e“Whoops!… Never Mind.”\u003c\/em\u003e Perfect for anyone who’s witnessed failure of such epic proportions, you couldn’t even pretend to be supportive anymore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eCrafted from soft, high-quality fabric, this shirt is for those who love their humor snarky and their honesty unfiltered. Wear it as a warning to the world—or maybe just to that one person who trips over their own shoelaces in life. Because, let’s face it, sometimes the bar isn’t just low—it’s underground.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eBecause positivity is great, but sometimes people make it \u003cem\u003ereally\u003c\/em\u003e hard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Made from durable ring-spun cotton fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Classic fit with crew neckline\u003cbr\u003e- Ethically grown and harvested US cotton used\u003cbr\u003e- Certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance\u003cbr\u003e- Available in a variety of fabric blends and colors\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":42155677286478,"sku":"76073271386569531707","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ S","offer_id":42155677319246,"sku":"39460753873157760809","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":42155677352014,"sku":"14639135504138458499","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":42155677384782,"sku":"65623569044213321484","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ S","offer_id":42155677417550,"sku":"18927230782928629099","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":42155677450318,"sku":"18453307233527538368","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ S","offer_id":42155677483086,"sku":"78767504305931023143","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":42155677515854,"sku":"20846908883251252609","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ M","offer_id":42155677548622,"sku":"18870701352831886742","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":42155677581390,"sku":"96346582580408121243","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ M","offer_id":42155677614158,"sku":"11726285144602334953","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ M","offer_id":42155677646926,"sku":"24691612387116955008","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":42155677679694,"sku":"27276009096135995491","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ M","offer_id":42155677712462,"sku":"28124933794134384563","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":42155677745230,"sku":"26448366176357803577","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ L","offer_id":42155677777998,"sku":"73430136250635194042","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":42155677810766,"sku":"14829808001209693384","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ L","offer_id":42155677843534,"sku":"25175675578268370887","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ L","offer_id":42155677876302,"sku":"24748467080867023639","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":42155677909070,"sku":"20938563499806400810","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ L","offer_id":42155677941838,"sku":"52793834092067469064","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":42155677974606,"sku":"19894817252905877903","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ XL","offer_id":42155678007374,"sku":"58396677344648976989","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42155678040142,"sku":"17185944150095876887","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ XL","offer_id":42155678072910,"sku":"76127108149540235135","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ XL","offer_id":42155678105678,"sku":"10839737247132495975","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":42155678138446,"sku":"25680331948320847628","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ XL","offer_id":42155678171214,"sku":"28311248239960592062","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155678203982,"sku":"32857508855608929554","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155678236750,"sku":"31202856762694877067","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155678269518,"sku":"74381615561844454385","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155678302286,"sku":"22569382925559689572","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155678335054,"sku":"41131028268824692515","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155678367822,"sku":"26332137001896297477","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155678400590,"sku":"64601598856892487263","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155678433358,"sku":"46645189002719534862","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155678466126,"sku":"38303242449949391121","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155678498894,"sku":"32534982429291487755","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155678531662,"sku":"13324495210831432779","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155678564430,"sku":"15372228457036610759","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155678597198,"sku":"19753295666468553769","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/3458\/5166\/files\/2gotthisblack.jpg?v=1745507714"},{"product_id":"actually-i-can-always-complain-sassy-humor-shirt","title":"Actually… I Can Always Complain Sassy Humor Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eYou know that annoying, overly-positive “I can’t complain” line? Yeah, not today. This shirt says it like it is: \u003cem\u003e“Actually… I Can Always Complain.”\u003c\/em\u003e Because honestly, who \u003cem\u003ecan’t\u003c\/em\u003e find something to whine about?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eMade from super-soft fabric and oozing with playful sass, this shirt is perfect for anyone who’s over pretending everything’s peachy. Wear it when you’re feeling extra petty, when the world’s not giving you what you deserve, or when you just feel like making people laugh (and maybe question their “everything’s fine” attitude).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eBecause who said we can’t embrace a little drama now and then?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Made from durable ring-spun cotton fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Classic fit with crew neckline\u003cbr\u003e- Ethically grown and harvested US cotton used\u003cbr\u003e- Certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance\u003cbr\u003e- Available in a variety of fabric blends and colors\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: 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style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":42155681906766,"sku":"72651183032462306369","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ S","offer_id":42155681939534,"sku":"14688902080032638592","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":42155681972302,"sku":"18361761762876725082","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":42155682005070,"sku":"27353585215228227834","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ S","offer_id":42155682037838,"sku":"18855965501753877235","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ 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3XL","offer_id":42155683414094,"sku":"21504372403642986600","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/3458\/5166\/files\/2complainblack.jpg?v=1745443340"},{"product_id":"be-your-authentic-self-unless-that-self-sucks-shirt","title":"Be Your Authentic Self. Unless That Self Sucks Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eFor anyone tired of the relentless self-love and “just be yourself” mantras, this shirt delivers the cold, hard truth: \u003cem\u003e“Be Your Authentic Self. Unless That Self Sucks.”\u003c\/em\u003e It’s the perfect blend of snark and honesty, reminding you that sometimes, authenticity doesn’t mean you’re automatically awesome.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eMade from soft, high-quality fabric, this shirt is great for anyone who wants to poke fun at today’s obsession with “unwavering self-expression” while keeping it real. 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15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, 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3XL","offer_id":42155684986958,"sku":"30281937111730296236","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/3458\/5166\/files\/2selfblack.jpg?v=1745442141"},{"product_id":"the-system-works-fine-satire-t-shirt","title":"The System Works Fine Satire T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eIrony never looked so good. This shirt features a classic illustration of the greedy robber baron clutching a bag of money, paired with the ironic phrase, “The System Works Fine.” It’s a bold commentary on the way capitalism functions—at least for the wealthy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eSoft, comfortable, and dripping with sarcasm, this shirt is perfect for anyone who’s not buying into the myth that the system benefits everyone. Wear it as a statement, a conversation starter, or just as a reminder of who’s really thriving under capitalism.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eBecause if the system works so well, maybe it’s time to ask: \u003cem\u003eFor whom?\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Made from durable ring-spun cotton fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Classic fit with crew neckline\u003cbr\u003e- Ethically grown and harvested US cotton used\u003cbr\u003e- Certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance\u003cbr\u003e- Available in a variety of fabric blends and colors\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth 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font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eFlip the script on tired clichés with this delightfully irreverent T-shirt. Featuring the bold and unapologetic phrase “Live, Laugh, F*** This,” it’s the perfect antidote to overused motivational mantras.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eMade for those who prefer sarcasm over sunshine, this shirt is a rebellious middle finger to the pressures of staying relentlessly positive. Soft, durable, and designed for maximum side-eye attraction, it’s perfect for anyone navigating life with a mix of humor and exasperation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eBecause sometimes, the most relatable motto is just giving the finger to it all.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Made from durable ring-spun cotton fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Classic fit with crew neckline\u003cbr\u003e- Ethically grown and harvested US cotton used\u003cbr\u003e- Certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance\u003cbr\u003e- Available in a variety of fabric blends and colors\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px 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style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":42155695636558,"sku":"22459982565474507409","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ S","offer_id":42155695669326,"sku":"10664214138477319576","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":42155695702094,"sku":"27047252358611309359","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ S","offer_id":42155695734862,"sku":"23180990180710741404","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ S","offer_id":42155695767630,"sku":"25628352806310259945","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 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XL","offer_id":42155696488526,"sku":"23678102167640366116","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ XL","offer_id":42155696521294,"sku":"18799369347941697189","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155696554062,"sku":"11566843478578149568","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155696586830,"sku":"31798744642450879227","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155696619598,"sku":"21174897146083042066","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155696652366,"sku":"21378470430449039844","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155696685134,"sku":"22656365792454199075","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155696717902,"sku":"21480312047917683132","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155696750670,"sku":"10007688434744771647","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155696783438,"sku":"14434947353838609925","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155696816206,"sku":"11995332994534544643","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155696848974,"sku":"25576573645066136906","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155696881742,"sku":"13519301044342515389","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155696914510,"sku":"31747104292969093998","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155696947278,"sku":"23161506368507069603","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/3458\/5166\/files\/2livelaughblack.jpg?v=1744233373"},{"product_id":"hope-is-a-four-letter-word-unisex-t-shirt","title":"Hope is a Four Letter Word Unisex T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eFor those tired of endless mantras and saccharine optimism, this shirt delivers the perfect dose of cynical truth. Featuring the bold phrase “Hope is a Four-Letter Word,” it’s a tongue-in-cheek rejection of toxic positivity and empty platitudes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eMade for the realists, the skeptics, and anyone who sees the world for what it is, this shirt pairs well with your favorite existential crisis and a strong cup of coffee. Crafted from premium, soft fabric, it offers comfort while keeping things refreshingly bleak.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eBecause sometimes, keeping it real is the most hopeful thing you can do.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Made from durable ring-spun cotton fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Classic fit with crew neckline\u003cbr\u003e- Ethically grown and harvested US cotton used\u003cbr\u003e- Certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance\u003cbr\u003e- Available in a variety of fabric blends and colors\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":42155697045582,"sku":"33420886359686523453","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ S","offer_id":42155697078350,"sku":"24968575213386307385","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":42155697111118,"sku":"12042382547057761275","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ S","offer_id":42155697143886,"sku":"84584604288896995625","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":42155697176654,"sku":"16642349615242974374","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ S","offer_id":42155697209422,"sku":"31608678260230852410","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":42155697242190,"sku":"13016387768104997145","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":42155697274958,"sku":"22459812553288459624","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ M","offer_id":42155697307726,"sku":"90962345110295670309","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":42155697340494,"sku":"29433793889095141553","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ M","offer_id":42155697373262,"sku":"28172296365606144850","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":42155697406030,"sku":"54420009119380199016","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ M","offer_id":42155697438798,"sku":"27530381289523704058","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":42155697471566,"sku":"31982921538960690655","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":42155697504334,"sku":"10325845709119267701","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ L","offer_id":42155697537102,"sku":"12049055180049445194","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":42155697569870,"sku":"23126646186463270237","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ L","offer_id":42155697602638,"sku":"12023303874590885721","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":42155697635406,"sku":"74533379675015009413","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ L","offer_id":42155697668174,"sku":"79260224828092542667","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":42155697700942,"sku":"52769430354470515849","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":42155697733710,"sku":"87441544063393393804","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ XL","offer_id":42155697766478,"sku":"31573183186886376901","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":42155697799246,"sku":"28929758124706226901","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ XL","offer_id":42155697832014,"sku":"17181375104259036300","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42155697864782,"sku":"14451681720209307779","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ XL","offer_id":42155697897550,"sku":"32938921300293593771","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":42155697930318,"sku":"14368234584767799289","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155697963086,"sku":"33897137851871068472","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155697995854,"sku":"94214810538379627105","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155698028622,"sku":"47000060568902640646","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155698061390,"sku":"25488659099597338513","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155698094158,"sku":"18723813387615568296","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155698126926,"sku":"32526375751359656067","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":42155698159694,"sku":"30742974129936461876","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155698192462,"sku":"15209884407622263220","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155698225230,"sku":"32679863672191172007","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155698257998,"sku":"11640496163724048230","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155698290766,"sku":"11424304517971184368","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155698323534,"sku":"89214291211767764778","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155698356302,"sku":"83803603635844877889","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":42155698389070,"sku":"27957908882099899605","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/3458\/5166\/files\/2hopeblack.jpg?v=1744233062"},{"product_id":"my-glass-is-half-full","title":"My Glass Is Half Full! (Of Acid) T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eWow, look at you—absolutely \u003cem\u003ethriving\u003c\/em\u003e! Your glass isn’t just half full; it’s brimming with endless possibilities… of hydrofluoric acid! That’s right, folks, you’re practically radiating positivity (and maybe some toxic fumes, but who’s counting?). Sure, it’s eating through the cup, your hand, and possibly the table, but isn’t it just \u003cem\u003eso great\u003c\/em\u003e to have something in the glass at all?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eThink of it this way: hydrofluoric acid may dissolve flesh and bone, but it can’t touch your unshakable \u003cem\u003ecan-do\u003c\/em\u003e attitude! The perfect shirt for anyone who loves to say, “Things are totally fine!” while ignoring the smoldering chaos right under their nose.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\" style=\"margin: 12px 0px 0px 13px; text-indent: -13px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eA cheerful slogan that screams “everything’s amazing!” even when it’s clearly not\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\" style=\"margin: 12px 0px 0px 13px; text-indent: -13px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eAdorably dangerous cup graphic, because life’s better with a splash of risk\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\" style=\"margin: 12px 0px 0px 13px; text-indent: -13px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eA subtle reminder that, hey, at least your problems are in liquid form!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eThrow it on and inspire the world to see the silver lining—even if it burns a little. 😊\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: 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(on fire and bleeding) T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eBecause nothing says “I’m totally fine” like bold letters \u003cem\u003eactively combusting\u003c\/em\u003e at the top and \u003cem\u003ebleeding profusely\u003c\/em\u003e at the bottom. This shirt perfectly captures the vibe of pretending you’re holding it all together while everything around—and within—you is falling apart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eIt’s a declaration, a mantra, and a cry for help all rolled into one. The flames? That’s just the daily chaos of life igniting at full force. The blood? A casual reminder of the emotional hemorrhaging required to say “I’m fine” with a straight face.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\" style=\"margin: 12px 0px 0px 13px; text-indent: -13px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eBold, dramatic design for anyone who thrives (or survives) under pressure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\" style=\"margin: 12px 0px 0px 13px; text-indent: -13px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ePerfect for the friend who’s “just a little stressed” but will scream into the void later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\" style=\"margin: 12px 0px 0px 13px; text-indent: -13px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eGuaranteed to spark conversations with strangers who will nervously ask, “Are… you okay?”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e; min-height: 17.2px;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" style=\"margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; color: #0e0e0e;\"\u003eWear it proudly—because if you’re going down, you’re going down \u003cem\u003elooking fabulous\u003c\/em\u003e. Everything’s fine. You’re doin’ great. Seriously. Probably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":42166980935758,"sku":"68976674411623297670","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":42166981165134,"sku":"25515676067168931808","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":42166981394510,"sku":"32106327045064663156","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42166981623886,"sku":"11311966981519867497","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42166981853262,"sku":"27953624746931686552","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42166982049870,"sku":"24695099572413397624","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":42166980837454,"sku":"20770360506965974614","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":42166981066830,"sku":"61523837978322792655","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":42166981296206,"sku":"20930378434082727670","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":42166981525582,"sku":"15306175031013531749","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":42166981754958,"sku":"18008808274673701440","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":42166981984334,"sku":"14201806985445440999","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":42166981034062,"sku":"30995592098362320364","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":42166981263438,"sku":"29102657010671395370","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":42166981492814,"sku":"26686811916207339642","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":42166981722190,"sku":"16366889556538328258","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":42166981951566,"sku":"12584172407428881613","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":42166982148174,"sku":"67170275914384271887","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ S","offer_id":42166980870222,"sku":"23892871659059039789","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ M","offer_id":42166981099598,"sku":"26111458313118766583","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ L","offer_id":42166981328974,"sku":"21695682395142398865","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ XL","offer_id":42166981558350,"sku":"28509956855498481982","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 2XL","offer_id":42166981787726,"sku":"13194277429400061771","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":42166980902990,"sku":"23126636245348989471","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":42166981132366,"sku":"27222233921796364254","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":42166981361742,"sku":"94189705343335317844","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":42166981591118,"sku":"10115156769578472998","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":42166981820494,"sku":"23381358022488188393","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":42166982017102,"sku":"12655640007700286216","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":42166980968526,"sku":"13738828172262181778","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ M","offer_id":42166981197902,"sku":"29717258596517683698","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ L","offer_id":42166981427278,"sku":"33079911268797150039","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ XL","offer_id":42166981656654,"sku":"15380577243494004833","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":42166981886030,"sku":"56349457300397225952","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":42166982082638,"sku":"13709844064831159903","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ S","offer_id":42166981001294,"sku":"32840391272457251945","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ M","offer_id":42166981230670,"sku":"16194551464069609104","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ L","offer_id":42166981460046,"sku":"82823002778153657199","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ XL","offer_id":42166981689422,"sku":"11109455565574704499","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":42166981918798,"sku":"18494161693588925073","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":42166982115406,"sku":"18438711662196104497","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/3458\/5166\/files\/2doingreatblack.jpg?v=1745440863"},{"product_id":"1-percent-worse-everyday-t-shirt","title":"1% Worse Everyday T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhy strive for constant improvement when you can embrace the slow, inevitable decline instead? This shirt flips the classic self-help mantra on its head, because let’s be real—who has the time, energy, or willpower to get better every day? Incremental progress? Nah. Let’s celebrate the gentle, almost imperceptible unraveling of our sanity instead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWith its bold, in-your-face lettering, this shirt makes a statement: Yes, I’m still functioning, but at what cost? The beauty of this philosophy? No pressure, no expectations—just a steady, reliable descent into glorious mediocrity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eLarge, confident text, just like your slowly fading confidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eA daily reminder that you are changing—just in the wrong direction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ePerfect for those who’ve accepted their fate but would rather laugh than cry about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it with pride. Or don’t. It won’t make a difference. You’ll be 1% worse tomorrow anyway. 😊\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; 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style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ 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Pure genius.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eBold design showing your unwavering love for unpredictable, overpriced policies.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eHeart symbol because we really love paying for something that may never help us.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eComfy fabric for when you’re waiting on that claim you’ll never get.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for anyone who appreciates how insurance companies truly have your back—as long as you don’t need to actually use them. Wear this and show the world just how much you adore them!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: 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It’s all uphill from here! Sure, it may feel like you’re drowning in life’s challenges, barely keeping your head above water, and absolutely nothing is going your way—BUT HEY, at least you’re climbing, right? This shirt proudly declares that despite all the crushing weight of life’s struggles, every step forward is still progress! After all, what’s life without a little relentless, soul-crushing grind?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePicture this: A silhouette of a person—totally wrecked, in tattered clothes—pushing a giant boulder up a mountain. It’s really the most optimistic thing you can imagine. If that doesn’t scream “hopeful future,” then I don’t know what does! The boulder’s heavy, the mountain’s steep, but hey, you’re totally gonna get there eventually… right? Right?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo, yeah. Keep pushing. 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But hey, let’s not forget: it’s not all bad! Sure, the planet’s burning, the rich keep getting richer, and the rest of us are stuck in this never-ending rat race—but at least you have this shirt, right?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn a world where everything feels like it’s crumbling under the weight of its own failures, let’s take a moment to appreciate the small victories. Like how this shirt perfectly sums up the hopeless optimism we’ve all adopted just to survive the daily chaos. Because, yeah, society might be on the verge of collapse, but at least you’re still here… barely. And isn’t that something?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo go ahead, wear it with pride—because even though everything’s a disaster, there’s still a tiny glimmer of hope. Maybe you’ll get a coffee today that’s just slightly better than expected. Small wins, right?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eA perfectly balanced message of doom and survivalism, because why choose one?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eIdeal for those who embrace the chaos while still holding on to the smallest shred of optimism.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eA reminder that life’s a dumpster fire, but maybe it’s just a bit better than last week’s dumpster fire.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eSoft, comfy fabric for when you’re just trying to get through the day with a sarcastic smirk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it proudly. 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break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ 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L","offer_id":42324383137870,"sku":"11692973935229507249","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":42324383170638,"sku":"36311788471777979727","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ L","offer_id":42324383203406,"sku":"25868010759981647965","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":42324383236174,"sku":"28824621921956884026","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ XL","offer_id":42324383268942,"sku":"15494352144951048947","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":42324383301710,"sku":"13553896576170776451","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42324383334478,"sku":"28136306128561824657","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ XL","offer_id":42324383367246,"sku":"16457114126206927456","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ XL","offer_id":42324383400014,"sku":"16013254975466590894","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":42324383432782,"sku":"33947505851282592090","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ XL","offer_id":42324383465550,"sku":"18238862123107503091","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":42324383498318,"sku":"99985296533306127845","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 2XL","offer_id":42324383531086,"sku":"31547193696767464702","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":42324383563854,"sku":"99236584648965026873","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42324383596622,"sku":"95718810316012471432","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":42324383629390,"sku":"17440534682784039756","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":42324383662158,"sku":"25971337622357210089","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":42324383694926,"sku":"15076442030933555685","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ 2XL","offer_id":42324383727694,"sku":"11781632056430333948","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":42324383760462,"sku":"28689819780872192794","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 3XL","offer_id":42324383793230,"sku":"21855157492760623805","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":42324383825998,"sku":"24567227739141292123","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42324383858766,"sku":"71812849092753898874","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":42324383891534,"sku":"31848965685624614567","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":42324383924302,"sku":"32766883665818235590","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":42324383957070,"sku":"24325669071258600038","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ 3XL","offer_id":42324383989838,"sku":"32773454499677794149","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/3458\/5166\/files\/notallbadblack.jpg?v=1743542548"},{"product_id":"copy-of-the-pyramid-scheme-of-capitalism-t-shirt","title":"Recession Vibes Only T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eGroovy, baby! Nothing screams laid-back, carefree energy like skyrocketing rent, stagnant wages, and the ever-looming dread of economic collapse! This retro-style tee puts a fun, nostalgic spin on the harsh reality of living through yet another financial crisis.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSlap on some bell-bottoms, crank up the disco, and pretend everything’s fine—just like they did in the ‘70s!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eBold, bubbly 1970s-style font for that totally chill aesthetic\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eA sunny, optimistic tone that absolutely does not match reality\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ePairs well with instant ramen and crippling debt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ePerfect for: broke millennials, Gen Z doomer icons, and anyone who laughs through the pain\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":42324720222286,"sku":"90312479609201716096","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ S","offer_id":42324720255054,"sku":"11314759255453694234","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":42324720287822,"sku":"13821644826866757118","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":42324720320590,"sku":"13717038872753733774","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":42324720353358,"sku":"13914491106567584192","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ S","offer_id":42324720386126,"sku":"21107185439366622681","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ S","offer_id":42324720418894,"sku":"86981016508633296709","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":42324720451662,"sku":"57813247808357671892","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ S","offer_id":42324720484430,"sku":"53106682063581591804","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":42324720517198,"sku":"28496423976188788774","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ M","offer_id":42324720549966,"sku":"27515242602644119302","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":42324720582734,"sku":"28385113072123204163","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":42324720615502,"sku":"28806366483093065924","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ M","offer_id":42324720648270,"sku":"13251788984060985722","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ M","offer_id":42324720681038,"sku":"11439427719184996457","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ M","offer_id":42324720713806,"sku":"15786451186315139186","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":42324720746574,"sku":"19616636763790593090","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ M","offer_id":42324720779342,"sku":"19168267514376588456","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":42324720812110,"sku":"88007642790859593511","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ L","offer_id":42324720844878,"sku":"14610146707777058870","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":42324720877646,"sku":"16878159218542275031","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":42324720910414,"sku":"26932093693581435051","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ L","offer_id":42324720943182,"sku":"40728524178620741736","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ L","offer_id":42324720975950,"sku":"83685903494946323737","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ L","offer_id":42324721008718,"sku":"32808445282959960859","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":42324721041486,"sku":"18944971250420742906","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ L","offer_id":42324721074254,"sku":"31117578299758733610","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":42324721107022,"sku":"11170883309188970863","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ XL","offer_id":42324721139790,"sku":"11273278614675502861","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":42324721172558,"sku":"53190416238942880132","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42324721205326,"sku":"18606573992547684711","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ XL","offer_id":42324721238094,"sku":"10966843977416460837","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ XL","offer_id":42324721270862,"sku":"23773624954062397582","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ XL","offer_id":42324721303630,"sku":"23819400778314833931","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":42324721336398,"sku":"30801003265834063868","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ XL","offer_id":42324721369166,"sku":"17785004178939439076","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":42324721401934,"sku":"32756168673542653705","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 2XL","offer_id":42324721434702,"sku":"15776298062681746172","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":42324721467470,"sku":"44049830764172372916","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42324721500238,"sku":"40008356404085474310","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":42324721533006,"sku":"32792922692324700770","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":42324721565774,"sku":"17393007356872884684","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ 2XL","offer_id":42324721598542,"sku":"15390785083501082213","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":42324721631310,"sku":"11188270533579674609","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ 2XL","offer_id":42324721664078,"sku":"14774821314256869463","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":42324721696846,"sku":"25560645229031172529","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 3XL","offer_id":42324721729614,"sku":"20724141982848605918","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":42324721762382,"sku":"17770128078319555259","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42324721795150,"sku":"80342822359004301291","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":42324721827918,"sku":"96040699876312057947","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":42324721860686,"sku":"38966905126854597884","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ 3XL","offer_id":42324721893454,"sku":"16570694654165052702","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":42324721926222,"sku":"38060654178541932699","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ 3XL","offer_id":42324721958990,"sku":"31240870738944088141","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/3458\/5166\/files\/vibesblack.jpg?v=1743555622"},{"product_id":"tomorrows-another-day-t-shirt","title":"Tomorrow's Another Day! T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003eOh wow, thanks for the incredible insight. Tomorrow’s another day? No shit. I never would have guessed. What a life-changing revelation you’ve just shared.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003eBecause oh BOY! I CAN’T WAIT to wake up again and do the same fucking thing I do every day, all day, forever! What a privilege! What a delight! Truly, existence is such a fucking treat!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003eAnd just so we’re crystal fucking clear, this isn’t some cute little motivational slogan. That’s why the bottom of the design features a completely dead-inside emoji with a gun icon pointed at its head, because nothing quite captures the soul-crushing thrill of another glorious morning like staring into the abyss and realizing—oh great, I get to do it all over again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eCheerful optimism up top! (For the idiots.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eExasperated sarcasm below! (For the rest of us.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ePerfect for when you just can’t with the toxic positivity anymore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eA great response to people who think “Just smile more!” is a personality trait.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ePairs well with coffee, exhaustion, and general existential dread.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003eWear this and never hear “Tomorrow’s another day!” unchallenged again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; 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break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ 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3XL","offer_id":42327267606606,"sku":"18515042775599648730","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42327267639374,"sku":"29151571301538986112","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":42327267672142,"sku":"22046554521053947555","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":42327267704910,"sku":"24045290943735292329","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":42327267737678,"sku":"96784103836524638634","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Indigo \/ 3XL","offer_id":42327267770446,"sku":"68559655417106024866","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/3458\/5166\/files\/anotherdayblack.jpg?v=1743618211"},{"product_id":"too-early-for-suicide-t-shirt","title":"Too Early For Suicide? T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003eWake up and take control of your destiny! Sure, life can feel like an endless grind, and yeah, sometimes it feels like nothing ever goes right. But guess what? That’s all the more reason to take ACTION. Now is the time, right NOW. The universe is practically screaming at you to get up and make the change you’ve been dreaming of!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003eYes, life might suck right now, but the clock is ticking—what are you going to do about it? You’ve got that thing to do. That big change you’ve been waiting for. That dream that’s just on the other side of your effort. What’s stopping you? Don’t wait any longer. This is your moment to rise, take control, and turn your life around, one small decision at a time. The time is NOW—why wait?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eA cheerful, smiling alarm clock to kick-start your day with motivation and purpose!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eVibrant design that screams, “Today is the day I take action!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eSoft, comfy fabric that helps you feel empowered to tackle the day ahead!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e•\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ePerfect for those ready to embrace change and take matters into their own hands!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p5\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; 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solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":43081685270606,"sku":"15743154552904203766","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ S","offer_id":43081685303374,"sku":"17161063503808746323","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":43081685336142,"sku":"29731439151221210111","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":43081685368910,"sku":"16968736086300395308","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":43081685401678,"sku":"28142572387876402554","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ S","offer_id":43081685434446,"sku":"73716290012174670144","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 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(Probably not, but that’s okay.) This sarcastic t-shirt redefines perseverance by celebrating the true underdog of personal growth: surrender. Because sometimes success means knowing when to stop pretending everything’s going to work out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTired of empty platitudes like “keep pushing,” “stay focused,” or “failure isn’t an option”? Try a more realistic mantra: “Never Give Up Giving Up.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis ironic tee is your emotional support slogan for burnout culture. It’s the ultimate self-help paradox: optimistic about the futility of optimism. Whether you’ve quit your job, your hobby, or just the will to try, this absurdist humor apparel keeps your spirits high while your standards remain comfortably low.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for overachievers in recovery and motivational speakers in remission.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e Daily Affirmations for the Defeated (But With Style)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e1.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eYou miss 100% of the shots you never take—so stop taking them!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e2.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eReach for the stars, then remember space is cold and silent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e3.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eEvery setback is a sign to just, you know, stop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e4.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eProgress isn’t linear—it’s mostly a circle that leads back to bed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e5.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eBelieve in yourself, but not too hard. 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Stay lazy, stay luminous, and keep lowering that bar—you’re doing amazing, sweetie.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; 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break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; 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3XL","offer_id":43081764175950,"sku":"17390337190210265349","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/3458\/5166\/files\/20251027203644-1f0b374a-6d76-6d0e-8442-e2198be7f53b.jpg?v=1761598320"},{"product_id":"reach-for-the-bare-minimum-t-shirt","title":"Reach For The Bare Minimum T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eOh my gosh, sweetie, you’re doing amazing! 🌟\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSure, you didn’t meet your goals, answer your texts, or make that dentist appointment—but that’s okay! This inspirational-ish t-shirt celebrates what really matters: surviving another day without spontaneously combusting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted in the same loving cursive that usually says “Follow Your Dreams,” this ironic tee delivers a softer message: “Maybe don’t.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause growth is exhausting, self-care is expensive, and honestly? The bare minimum is still technically progress!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you’re sipping cold coffee, starting your sixth new planner this year, or simply vibing through mild existential dread, this absurdly wholesome humor apparel keeps you comfy and delusionally optimistic—just like your favorite affirmation mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDaily Affirmations for the Spiritually Tired\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e1.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e“Good enough” is my love language. 💕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e2.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eGratitude starts with not crying before noon.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e3.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eEvery day is a gift… from whatever’s left of the supply chain.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e4.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eBreathe in calm. Exhale chaos. Repeat until nap time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e5.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eRemember: failure builds character—so you’re basically radiant.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 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Because in today’s world, burnout is just passion rebranded.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis ironic tee perfectly captures that sweet spot between “I’m doing great!” and “I can’t feel feelings anymore.” Ideal for high-functioning depressives, overachievers in denial, and anyone who treats exhaustion like a personality trait.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted in bold optimism and lowercase despair, this absurdist humor apparel reminds us that thriving isn’t about balance—it’s about surviving long enough to tell people you’re “killing it” while emotionally flatlining.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSteps to Thriving Miserably\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e1.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eWake up tired.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e2.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eAccomplish everything. 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It’s not fear holding you back. It’s not doubt. It’s just that you’re bad. This sarcastic t-shirt flips the classic motivational quote on its head—and then kicks it while it’s down. Because not everyone is destined for greatness, and that’s okay. (It’s not, but it’s fine.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis ironic tee is for the realist, the pessimist, and the person who’s done pretending to be “on a journey.” It’s the perfect uniform for anyone who’s tired of toxic positivity, empty pep talks, and the relentless demand to “believe in yourself.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSometimes the truth hurts—and sometimes it just calls you bad to your face. Wear this absurdist humor apparel proudly while underperforming, overthinking, and redefining success as “technically alive.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHelpful Performance Tips\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e1.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eVisualize success. Then laugh, because that’s adorable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e2.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eFailure builds character—but so does staying in bed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e3.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eTry harder next time. (There won’t be a next time.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e4.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eYou miss every shot because you never practiced. And that’s on brand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e5.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eAccept it: mediocrity looks good on you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":43096093589582,"sku":"28741660417779710675","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ S","offer_id":43096093622350,"sku":"46773178068927526322","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":43096093655118,"sku":"11914299608455026931","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":43096093687886,"sku":"26261821331954059060","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":43096093720654,"sku":"16522677591103441972","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ S","offer_id":43096093753422,"sku":"24762753990710121001","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":43096093786190,"sku":"63752815626787470119","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":43096093818958,"sku":"28764736440064716934","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ M","offer_id":43096093851726,"sku":"22028224104777022163","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":43096093884494,"sku":"25682239927425232982","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":43096093917262,"sku":"18615497196980535516","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ M","offer_id":43096093950030,"sku":"15651833149115238117","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ M","offer_id":43096093982798,"sku":"12133844195348398597","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":43096094015566,"sku":"14769735604162053673","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":43096094048334,"sku":"22452103993338029689","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ L","offer_id":43096094081102,"sku":"16545980499781883703","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":43096094113870,"sku":"90086824256989171120","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":43096094146638,"sku":"24319046596327169742","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ L","offer_id":43096094179406,"sku":"16948504361028516467","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ L","offer_id":43096094212174,"sku":"23344453447877913929","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":43096094244942,"sku":"11679081090643323733","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":43096094277710,"sku":"14748408482557675243","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ XL","offer_id":43096094310478,"sku":"69690855575743732693","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":43096094343246,"sku":"44325316171281525075","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":43096094376014,"sku":"16403989266857562298","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ XL","offer_id":43096094408782,"sku":"10356277388467392772","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ XL","offer_id":43096094441550,"sku":"82938642385098526593","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":43096094474318,"sku":"16215783576336474103","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":43096094507086,"sku":"72602786267824110224","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 2XL","offer_id":43096094539854,"sku":"87978327918830405011","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":43096094572622,"sku":"11926372267529177668","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":43096094605390,"sku":"34350301397339326077","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":43096094638158,"sku":"30951927180615366439","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":43096094670926,"sku":"27616240901017129293","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":43096094703694,"sku":"28568245977090913113","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":43096094736462,"sku":"27461143137486832659","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 3XL","offer_id":43096094769230,"sku":"33363370629291494440","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":43096094801998,"sku":"44364125750260768903","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":43096094834766,"sku":"20104223578485702103","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":43096094867534,"sku":"32410076992861336079","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":43096094900302,"sku":"17863284284079712699","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":43096094933070,"sku":"21432693861304570272","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/3458\/5166\/files\/20251101204528-1f0b763b-3094-697e-a050-2e3717db57da.jpg?v=1762030464"},{"product_id":"you-were-born-for-this-death-t-shirt","title":"You Were Born For This (Death) T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou’ve felt it your whole life, haven’t you? That whisper in your soul calling you to greatness. The quiet certainty that you were meant for something more. Something bigger. Something transcendent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd congratulations—this is it. This sarcastic t-shirt commemorates your life’s ultimate purpose: hurtling toward the grave at a perfectly consistent speed. You’ve been crushing it since the day you emerged screaming into the void, and you haven’t slowed down since.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis ironic tee is for anyone tired of pretending that destiny means anything other than decomposition. Forget “follow your dreams”—follow the biological process that’s been quietly eroding you since birth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause every deep breath, every career move, every heartbreak and half-hearted self-improvement phase all point toward one destination. You can meditate, manifest, or microdose all you want—entropy doesn’t care. It’s patient. It’s undefeated.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis absurdist humor apparel is your reminder that purpose is a marketing term, hope is a side effect, and your expiration date has been printed since day one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAffirmations for the Inevitable\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e1.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eBelieve in yourself—you’ll still die anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e2.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eEvery day is a gift, and every gift expires.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e3.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eLive laugh love (in whatever order you manage).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e4.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eLeave your mark—preferably before the worms do.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e5.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\" style=\"white-space: pre;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eRemember: you were born to do one thing perfectly. End.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eYou were born for this. Literally. The prophecy is fulfilled. Congratulations on your unwavering commitment to the inevitable—now get out there and die with confidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; 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damage\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e* heard the phrase “coverage denied” often enough to develop psychic resistance\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause healthcare works best when every medical decision includes the exciting bonus challenge of economic survival.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it proudly to doctor appointments, pharmacies, emergency rooms, or while googling symptoms because you can’t afford the exciting luxury of professional medical advice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAfter all, wellness is important. 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color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: 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