Bootstraps Harder T-Shirt

Look at you, dream-chaser! The economy’s on fire, rent’s a myth, and your boss just called you “family.” That means it’s time to believe in yourself and BOOTSTRAP HARDER. After all, billionaires do it every day—usually by inheriting billions—but don’t let that discourage you!

This dark humor shirt celebrates the timeless motivational mantra: if you’re struggling, it’s because you’re not hustling hard enough. Forget systemic inequality, generational debt, or wage stagnation—those are just excuses from people who haven’t truly engaged their core muscles while lifting themselves into the stratosphere of success.

Slip this sarcastic t-shirt on and feel the instant empowerment of pretending you’re the problem. Each fiber is infused with the can-do spirit of late-stage capitalism: a crisp reminder that everything’s achievable if you simply work 400% more for half the pay. It’s perfect for networking events, job interviews, or lying awake at 3 a.m. calculating how to afford groceries.

Your Foolproof 5-Step Plan to Prosperity

1. Purchase this shirt. It’s the cornerstone of your personal brand.

2. Wake up at 4 a.m., drink three raw eggs, and manifest generational wealth.

3. Politely ask your landlord to lower rent using the power of positive thinking.

4. Start a side hustle flipping side hustles into other side hustles.

5. Fail anyway — but remember, it’s totally 100 percent your fault, because the system works fine.

Care instructions
- Do not dryclean
- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat