Everything Is Broken T-Shirt

You want to fix things. You really do. But have you seen things lately? This sarcastic t-shirt captures the universal experience of staring at the chaos of modern life, thinking “I should do something,” and then remembering that even thinking about it raises your heart rate.

Perfect for the emotionally responsible nihilist, this ironic tee says what every to-do list secretly means: “I tried.” Whether it’s the economy, your inbox, or that drawer full of unsorted cables, this absurdist humor apparel is a tribute to the exhausted optimist inside all of us—the one who still believes in improvement but also really needs a nap first.

Made for those who care too much and cope by pretending they don’t, it pairs well with quiet panic, iced coffee, and vague intentions to start therapy eventually.

Helpful Life-Fixing Steps (Do Not Attempt)

1. Identify the problem. Immediately spiral about it.

2. Open 12 browser tabs on “how to fix your life.”

3. Take a break—you’ve earned it.

4. Forget what you were doing.

5. Accept entropy. It’s character building.

Care instructions
- Do not dryclean
- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat