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I Increase Shareholder Value Retro Business Satire Shirt

I Increase Shareholder Value Retro Business Satire Shirt

$29.99
$39.99 $29.99
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Celebrate the true spirit of corporate America with this shirt featuring a cheery 1950s businessman declaring, “I Increase Shareholder Value.” Because nothing says passion and purpose like funneling profits upward and maximizing returns for people you’ll never meet.

 

This retro-inspired design is a cynical nod to the soulless jargon of the business world, perfect for anyone who sees through the glossy facade of corporate culture. Whether you’re poking fun at office life, skewering capitalism, or just enjoy making people uncomfortable in board meetings, this shirt gets the job done.

 

Soft, comfortable, and ironically professional—this tee pairs well with coffee breaks, existential crises, and that next quarterly report no one will read. Shareholder value? You’re crushing it.

 

Product features
- Made from durable ring-spun cotton fabric
- Classic fit with crew neckline
- Ethically grown and harvested US cotton used
- Certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance
- Available in a variety of fabric blends and colors

Care instructions
- Do not dryclean
- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat

  S M L XL 2XL 3XL
Width, in 18.00 20.00 22.00 24.00 26.00 28.00
Length, in 28.00 29.00 30.00 31.00 32.00 33.00
Sleeve length, in 8.23 8.50 8.74 9.02 9.25 9.49
Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50

 

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Shirt Details

* Gildan Softstyle 64000
* Unisex fit
* 100% ring-spun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors)
* Light fabric
* Runs True To Size
* Made, Packaged, and Shipped in the USA (hooray arbitrary geographic boundaries!)

Washing Instructions

Follow these steps to keep to keep your t-shirts fresh and ready to wear!

✅ Wash And Dry Inside Out

A simple step to help maintain the quality of your t-shirt.

✅ Use Low Temperature and Gentle Detergents

High heat and harsh detergents can shorten the life span of your t-shirt.

✅ Avoid Excessive Spinning

Too much spinning can cause unnecessary wear and tear.

Shipping & Returns

Shipping

Orders are typically shipped within 7 days

Once shipped, please allow 2-5 days for delivery

Note: Shipping rates are weight-based and may vary depending on the product.

Returns

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