You Were Born For This (Death) T-Shirt
You Were Born For This (Death) T-Shirt
Couldn't load pickup availability
- 30 Day Guarantee
- Ships in 2-5 Business Days
- Free Returns
You’ve felt it your whole life, haven’t you? That whisper in your soul calling you to greatness. The quiet certainty that you were meant for something more. Something bigger. Something transcendent.
And congratulations—this is it. This sarcastic t-shirt commemorates your life’s ultimate purpose: hurtling toward the grave at a perfectly consistent speed. You’ve been crushing it since the day you emerged screaming into the void, and you haven’t slowed down since.
This ironic tee is for anyone tired of pretending that destiny means anything other than decomposition. Forget “follow your dreams”—follow the biological process that’s been quietly eroding you since birth.
Because every deep breath, every career move, every heartbreak and half-hearted self-improvement phase all point toward one destination. You can meditate, manifest, or microdose all you want—entropy doesn’t care. It’s patient. It’s undefeated.
This absurdist humor apparel is your reminder that purpose is a marketing term, hope is a side effect, and your expiration date has been printed since day one.
Affirmations for the Inevitable
1. Believe in yourself—you’ll still die anyway.
2. Every day is a gift, and every gift expires.
3. Live laugh love (in whatever order you manage).
4. Leave your mark—preferably before the worms do.
5. Remember: you were born to do one thing perfectly. End.
You were born for this. Literally. The prophecy is fulfilled. Congratulations on your unwavering commitment to the inevitable—now get out there and die with confidence.
Care instructions
- Do not dryclean
- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 |
| Sleeve length, in | 8.23 | 8.50 | 8.74 | 9.02 | 9.25 | 9.49 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |

Collapsible content
Shirt Details
* Gildan Softstyle 64000
* Unisex fit
* 100% ring-spun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors)
* Light fabric
* Runs True To Size
* Made, Packaged, and Shipped in the USA (hooray arbitrary geographic boundaries!)
Washing Instructions
Follow these steps to keep to keep your t-shirts fresh and ready to wear!
✅ Wash And Dry Inside Out
A simple step to help maintain the quality of your t-shirt.
✅ Use Low Temperature and Gentle Detergents
High heat and harsh detergents can shorten the life span of your t-shirt.
✅ Avoid Excessive Spinning
Too much spinning can cause unnecessary wear and tear.
Shipping & Returns
Shipping
Orders are typically shipped within 7 days
Once shipped, please allow 2-5 days for delivery
Note: Shipping rates are weight-based and may vary depending on the product.
Returns
Our Goal is for you to love your order and strive for 100% satisfaction guarantee. Please contact us if something isn't right.
Best Sellers
-
My Other Shirt is Also a Shirt
Regular price From $26.99Regular priceUnit price / per$39.99Sale price From $26.99Sale -
The Future Is Bright - Dumpster Fire T-Shirt
Regular price From $26.99Regular priceUnit price / per$39.99Sale price From $26.99Sale -
Please Don't Read My Shirt (It's Making Me Uncomfortable) T-Shirt
Regular price From $26.99Regular priceUnit price / per$39.99Sale price From $26.99Sale -
Capitalism Pentagram T-Shirt
Regular price From $26.99Regular priceUnit price / per$39.99Sale price From $26.99Sale -
Can I Leave Now? T-Shirt
Regular price From $26.99Regular priceUnit price / per$39.99Sale price From $26.99Sale -
SaleYour Dumb T-Shirt
Regular price From $26.99Regular priceUnit price / per$39.99Sale price From $26.99Sale -
It's Fine, Shut Up (Reagan & Thatcher) T-Shirt
Regular price From $26.99Regular priceUnit price / per$39.99Sale price From $26.99Sale -
SaleApathy T-Shirt
Regular price From $26.99Regular priceUnit price / per$39.99Sale price From $26.99Sale -
It's Fine, Shut up (World Exploding) T-Shirt
Regular price From $26.99Regular priceUnit price / per$39.99Sale price From $26.99Sale -
First Coffee. Then Murder. T-Shirt
Regular price From $26.99Regular priceUnit price / per$39.99Sale price From $26.99Sale -
Billionaires Have Our Best Interests At Heart T-Shirt
Regular price From $26.99Regular priceUnit price / per$39.99Sale price From $26.99Sale -
1% Worse Everyday T-Shirt
Regular price From $26.99Regular priceUnit price / per$39.99Sale price From $26.99Sale -
DOIN’ GREAT! (on fire and bleeding) T-Shirt
Regular price From $26.99Regular priceUnit price / per$39.99Sale price From $26.99Sale -
My Glass Is Half Full! (Of Acid) T-Shirt
Regular price From $26.99Regular priceUnit price / per$39.99Sale price From $26.99Sale -
Yes, That Was Sarcasm Tee
Regular price From $26.99Regular priceUnit price / per$39.99Sale price From $26.99Sale -
Trickle Down Economics Satirical Shirt
Regular price From $26.99Regular priceUnit price / per$39.99Sale price From $26.99Sale