You Were Born For This (Death) T-Shirt

You’ve felt it your whole life, haven’t you? That whisper in your soul calling you to greatness. The quiet certainty that you were meant for something more. Something bigger. Something transcendent.

And congratulations—this is it. This sarcastic t-shirt commemorates your life’s ultimate purpose: hurtling toward the grave at a perfectly consistent speed. You’ve been crushing it since the day you emerged screaming into the void, and you haven’t slowed down since.

This ironic tee is for anyone tired of pretending that destiny means anything other than decomposition. Forget “follow your dreams”—follow the biological process that’s been quietly eroding you since birth.

Because every deep breath, every career move, every heartbreak and half-hearted self-improvement phase all point toward one destination. You can meditate, manifest, or microdose all you want—entropy doesn’t care. It’s patient. It’s undefeated.

This absurdist humor apparel is your reminder that purpose is a marketing term, hope is a side effect, and your expiration date has been printed since day one.

Affirmations for the Inevitable

1. Believe in yourself—you’ll still die anyway.

2. Every day is a gift, and every gift expires.

3. Live laugh love (in whatever order you manage).

4. Leave your mark—preferably before the worms do.

5. Remember: you were born to do one thing perfectly. End.

You were born for this. Literally. The prophecy is fulfilled. Congratulations on your unwavering commitment to the inevitable—now get out there and die with confidence.

Care instructions
- Do not dryclean
- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat